I have officially limited my children to only asking me this question once a day. With 4 kids, four times is enough.
"Do I have to do my reading?"
"Do I have to practice piano?"
"Do I have to do my chores?"
and on and on...if I let it.
I once heard you should replace the "have to" with "get to". Then it would be "do I get to do my chores?" Nice in theory, but if you had that perspective, you wouldn't be asking the question in the first place.
Have I totally missed creating a passion for learning and growth in my children?
Why aren't they jumping out of bed in the morning excited to expand their minds and learn about God's creation? How badly have I screwed this homeschooling thing up?
Then I ask myself, what is the heart issue here?
When children ask if they have to do something it is because they would rather do something else. It is because the task seems mundane or meaningless or difficult.
Wait a minute...that sounds familar...
"Ugh. Do I have to make dinner?"
"Ugh. Do I have to fold the laundry?"
"Ugh. Do I have to clean the bathrooms?"
Okay, so I don't say these things out loud, but I do think them. I think them, but then I do the tasks because I have to. And on a good day I'll even remember to do it "as serving the Lord rather than men". Those days rock, because then I find the hidden joy in the mundane.
How do I teach my children to find the hidden joy in the mundane? How do I get them out of the "do I have to" mode and into the "this is the day that the Lord has made" mode?
I start most mornings with prayer and the Book, which gets my heart and mind in line for the day. If my children are getting out of bed and getting right into school without taking time to get in the right mindset, it is no wonder they end up with a bad case of the "do I have to"s.
As the provider of their education, I need to make sure it is 1) engaging 2) at their level and 3)meaningful. As their mom, I need to make sure they have the opportunity to start each day by acknowledging and thanking their Lord.
Hopefully, when they dwell in the knowledge that God has given them these opportunities to homeschool and to learn and to develop skills and to contribute to house and home...hopefully, they will embrace the day and find the joy in the mundane.
Let me encourage you to take the time during the first part of your day to read the Bible and pray with your children. Equip and enable older kids to do it on their own. It is the best way to rid your house of the "do I have to" syndrome.
